NBA 2005-2006 Preview: Southeast Division

Part 3 of a 7 part series previewing the 2005-2006 NBA Season

Playoff seed (in parentheses) and projected record appear after name

Southeast Division

1. Miami Heat (1) 62-20
In the lighest division in the East, Miami will coast through the regular season....The deepest bench this side of San Antonio...Shaquille O'Neal is the man and you could make an argument for Dwayne Wade over Lebron. But sometimes stockpiling talent (Antoine Walker, Gary Payton, Alonzo Mourning, Jason Williams, James Posey) doesn’t always equate a World Championship... This team has the talent to win, but chemistry will tell how far they go.

2. Washington Wizards (8) 43-39
It hurt to lose Larry Hughes to Cleveland, but their general manager Ernie Grunfeld should be commended for essentially acquiring Chucky Atkins, Caron Butler and Antonio Daniels, three decent players with moderate contracts, to make up for the loss...If it will be tough for Gilbert Arenas to improve on last year, but if he stays at that level, the Wizards can be dangerous...Antowain Jamison will always give you 19 and 7, if he’s healthy...Brandon Haywood is a good center

3. Orlando Magic 35-47
Dwight Howard is the future of Orlando...Howard and Jameer Nelson make up good nucleus for the future, but not enought this year...Grant Hill is always a good story, but even if he is healthy again this year, it will be very tough for this team to make the playoffs...Steve Francis is Steve Francis, a hybrid point/shooting guard who puts up stats...Brian Hill was a good choice as coach, but it won't help.

4. Charlotte Bobcats 23-59
A last place team in almost any other division...5 NCAA titles between the players, but hardly any playoff experience... Building around Emeka Okafor, Sean May, Raymond Felton and Gerald Wallace is a good idea...They are still way, way too young to do anything...They will be better than the Raptors, though.

5. Atlanta Hawks 19-63
Josh Childress, Salim Stoudamire, Marvin Williams and Joe Johnson could make a good core for the future, but they have a similar swingman/offense first game...Will battle the Raptors for title of East's worst team...If Johnson can handle the role of "The Man" better than most expect, they could improve...There is some semblance of foundation, but not much

NBA 2005-2006 Preview: Central Division

Part 2 of a 7 part series previewing the 2005-2006 NBA season
Playoff seed (in parentheses) and projected record appear after name

Central Division

1. Indiana Pacers (2) 59-23
For fourth year in a row, the pick to win the Eastern Conference...Rick Carlisle is the best coach in the NBA...Jermaine O'Neil and Ron Artest are two big time players and Lithuanian import Sarunas Janisvicius will be the best new player in the NBA, Rookie of the Year or not...While Stephen Jackson is not an upper echelon two-guard, he is a great third option...They are thin at the 5, but they have enough bodies to throw around to make up for it...They could use some added depth...this team definitely has something to prove

2. Detroit Pistons (4) 57-25
This team is just solid...Probably no Hall of Famers and possibly no All Stars, but Detroit could easily make it to the Finals for the third year in a row...Flip Saunders, a veterans coach, is a good choice to replace Larry Brown...The best defensive team in the East, with really no weak spots...The bench is aging, so if Darko Milicic can contribute, that would be huge

3. Cleveland Cavaliers (5) 46-35
I could flip flop Chicago and Cleveland here, but the Lebron James factor gives the Cavs the nod...Larry Hughes is a good choice as playing Pippen to Jordan's Lebron, if he's up to it...This team is improved from last year, but they still have holes at power forward and point guard, where Drew Gooden and Eric Snow/Damon Jones are good role players, not starters on championship teams...Zydrunas Ilcontinue must contine to stay healthy...I think Lebron is in Cleveland to stay

4. Chicago Bulls (6) 45-37
Kirk Hinrich will be the best point guard in basketball in three years; he's the real deal...This team is young, but they're solid and will continue to get better...You can't blame them for ditching Eddy Curry, and Mike Sweetney was a good consolation prize...Hinrich, Ben Gordon, Luol Deng, Chris Duhon, Sweetney and coach Scott Skiles is a good foundation to build upon...Chicago, Cleveland and Boston are the future of the East

5. Milwaukee Bucks 33-49
If it makes them feel any better, the Bucks could be the best last place team in the NBA..They overpaid big-time for Michael Redd, but he can score...The jury is still out on Andrew Bogut, but Jamal Magliore was a good pickup to shore up the frontcourt...Bobby Simmons could be a good pickup and TJ Ford is a nice story but, aside from Redd, this team lacks firepower.

NBA 2005-2006 Preview: Atlantic Division

Part 1 of a 7 part series previewing the 2005-2006 NBA season

Playoff seed (in parentheses) and projected record appear after name

Atlantic Division

1. New Jersey Nets (3) 49-33
The Jason Kidd-Richard Jefferson-Vince Carter trio is the best in the league…still, I’m not sold on this team at all…Their frontcourt has potential, but that’s it. Until it does anything, it’s one of the weakest in the league…Their bench is good with Jeff McInnis and Cliff Robinson, but unless all three All Stars are healthy for 75-82 games, they're just an average team...They should win the division, but they’re one Jason Kidd injury from the lottery

2. Boston Celtics (7) 44-38
I could flip flop Philly and Boston here, but the sentimental vote goes to the C’s…The knock is that they’re too young, but most of the squad is a year older and presumably, better…Once Al Jefferson really figures out what he can do, he'll be the best offensive power forward in the East...For the first time in a long time, they won't be outrebounded…Ryan Gomes and Orien Greene look like second round steals…Ditching Antoine Walker and Gary Payton was the right move, but their success this year lies directly in the attitudes of Paul Pierce, Ricky Davis and Mark Blount

3. Philadelphia 76ers 42-40
Maurice Cheeks is the best possible coach for Allen Iverson…The big question lies with Chris Webber, whether his knees will hold up or if he’s mentally committed; it will be interesting to see what kind offense they run this and how Webber is involved in it…Kyle Korver will have a decreased role this year, but Samuel Dalembert should have every opportunity to play…Andre Iguodala is OK, but they have minimal bench.

4. New York Knicks 39-43
Larry Brown is a great coach, but Isiah Thomas is unfortunately the worst General Manager in professional sports…This franchise lacks direction; it’s hard to plan for the future when half of your team could be traded and your coach could retire by the end of the year…In NY, the talent will always be there, but it will be an amazing job by Brown if he can put it together...Hopefully Eddy Curry's heart problem is behind him, because if its not, because Celtics and Loyola-Marymount fans know whats at stake if it's not

5. Toronto Raptors 17-65
In terms of franchise stability, the Raptors make the Knicks look like the Spurs…Absolutely no direction or talent, and their last three lottery picks (Chris Bosh, Charlie Villanueva, Rafael Araujo) all play the same position…Ditching Rafer Alston was wise, but this team doesn’t win more than 25 games, tops...There is really nothing positive to say about this team

The Barry Darsow Story

Part 3 of Yesterday's Heroes: Barry Darsow will appear on Friday.

If you're one of the few who haven't read the first two installments of the in-depth expose on the rise and fall and subsequent rebirth of one of America's greatest men, you can read part one here and part two here. It's a timeless story of one man's journey to find his soul and true self and the tribulations and opponents he meets along the way.

Yesterday's Heroes: Barry Darsow PART DEUX

Editor's note: If you haven't read Part One of "Yesterday's Heroes: Barry Darsow", please do so here.

When we last left off, the year was 1991 and after achieving minimal success with his new partner in crime, Crush, the Smasher dissapeared from the WWF scene. We speculated about his whereabouts in part one, but no one truly knows for sure what happened to this brutal man.

What we do know is this: In early 1992, a new force in the World Wrestling Federation exploded onto the scene-and no one was prepared. Taking the wrestling word-nay, the entire world-by storm, the mysterious Repo Man began a reign of terror unmatched to this day.

Introduced to the world through a series of vignettes where he reposessed a bicycle from a small child or a car from a deadbeat late on his payments, Repo sported a trademark grey trenchcoat and a full-length grey spandex jumpsuit with a single, symbolic tire skid trailing down the front. He was a loner; a rebel with a cause. That cause: to destroy everything in his path.

After ending up on the losing end of a not-so-classic rivalry with the late British Bulldog, Reeps defined his legacy by engaging in a legendary battle with fellow Hero Virgil. Needless to say, both men were never the same. The bitter blood feud still simmers to this day.

Throughout his WWF tenure, one question remained unanswered: Where the Repo Man, Smash and Krusher Kruschev the same person? After all, they did have the same tattoos and were the same height and same weight. But, like Smash, Repo spoke without even a hint of Eastern European dialect. But the ruthless intensity that was a trademark of Smash ceased to exist in the Repo Man, who instead used his coy and conniving ways to secure victories. The mysteries remained unsolved.

Also during this time, the whereabouts of Minneapolis' Barry Darsow still remained unknown.

As 1992 turned to 1993 and '93 to '94, the Repo Man vanished. His reign of terror complete, it was believed that he retired from the sport to devote his full attention to reposessing.

Coincidentally enough around this time, a new face emerged on the scene in rival World Championship Wrestling. Calling himself the Blacktop Bully, this fearless brawler arrived straight from his eighteen wheeler and straight into our living room-and our hearts.

Blacktop dressed the part, complete with a shiny bald head (no face paint or mask) and a ripped sleeve-less tank top and jeans. The man could fight-but sadly, not very well. Unfortunately, the trademark toughness exhibited by Krusher and Smash and the wily ways of the Repo Man had dissapeared with the Bully. Shortly after his arrival, he was gone.
Perhaps back to his truck, or perhaps he had enough of this crazy world went to that big truck stop in the sky.

The questions intensified: Where these four men one in the same? It wasn't possible, many said. How could one man reinvent himself so many times. How could one man stand for so much so strongly. Unless Barry Darsow was more than a man.......

PART THREE: MRS. DARSOW'S BABY BOY COMES HOME.

Yesterday's Heroes: Barry Darsow

"If the opportunity were to present itself,

I might just have to go and reinvent myself." - Edo G

The words of a Boston hip hop legend notwithstanding, few men every do truly reinvent themselves. Nary a man truly take the opportunity to change their lifestyle for the better and jump on the opportunity to become, for lack of better words, new and improved.

Such is not the case for Barry Darsow. Who is Barry Darsow you ask? Exactly. The truth is, no one really knows the real story of Barry Darsow. Of course, with every larger-than-life hero, there's myths and legends. Some are true, but some can't be confirmed.

Will we ever know the real Barry Darsow? Probably not. But will we ever really know ourselves? I don't even know what that question means.

Here's what we do know. Barry Darsow was born in Minneapolis in 1959. 25 years later, an apparent U.S.S.R. refugee and Communist sympathiser named Krush Kruschev burst onto the scene in Florida Championship Wrestling and the National Wrestling Alliance. This mysterious, yet charming, Russian madman would terrorize the Southeast throughout the mid-eighties with seemingly no end to the chaos in sight.

But just as quickly as he appeared he was gone. Perhaps the cerebral Kruschev knew the demise of his Mother Russia was imminent and left before the iron curtain would officially fall. Or, perhaps, he chose to reivent himself.

Only a few short months after the departure of the Krusher, a new face burst onto the scene in the World Wrestling Federation. Dressed in red and black face paint, a studded leather vest and buttless chaps, Demolition Smash quickly established himself as a force to be reckoned with in the WWF.

With life partner Ax by his side and the popularity of heavy metal music at its apex, Demolition ran wild throughout the organization. On the surface, Smash bore a frightening resemblance to the Russian brawler.

But when he spoke, he spoke with not even a hint of a Russian accent. The pride the Russian Kruschev once bore for his native Russia was no longer. Had Krusher Kruschev changed his ways or were Kruschev and Smash not one in the same? To this day, this remains unknown.

One thing is for certain: The reign of Demolition lasted much longer than the reign of Krusher Kruschev. As the U.S.S.R. closed its doors, Demolition remained strong, capturing the two WWF Tag Team titles before their disintegration in 1991.

As the black leather/heavy metal fad of the late eighties ran its course, the Smash Man dissapeared from the scene. Some claim he became a roadie for Whitesnake. Others claim he started a band of his own. Wherever he went, after 1991, Smash was never heard of again.

Throughout this time, friends and family of Barry Darsow wondered: Where is Barry? His closest confidantes hadn't heard from Darsow in years. And while two wrestlers they had seen on tv bore a strikingly resemblance to their old friend, it didn't seem plausible.

Had the world seen the last of Barry Darsow.....or was it just the beginning?

Find out in PART DEUX.

And the award goes to...

And the award for "Weirdest Face Ever" goes to...

Los Angeles Clippers point guard Shaun Livingston.

Shaun is not here tonight.