Theo Epstein Rejoins Low End Theory

BOSTON, MA -- The Low End Theory today announced that Theo Epstein will rejoin the organization.

Principal Owner John Henry, Chairman Tom Werner, President/CEO Jay London and Epstein issued the following joint statement:

"As you know, we have spoken frequently during the last 10 weeks. We have engaged in healthy, spirited debates about what it will take over the long-term for the Low End Theory to remain a great organization and, in fact, become a more effective organization in philosophy, approaches and ideals. Ironically, Theo's departure has brought us closer together in many respects, and, thanks to these conversations, we now enjoy the bonds of a shared vision for the organization's future that did not exist on October 31. With this vision in place, Theo will return to the Low End Theory in a full-time blogger operations capacity, details of which will be announced next week."

The Low End Theory and Theo Epstein will have no further comment until next week.

Chat Trancript: God

Be sure to check out the transcript of The Low End Theory's exclusive chat with God, which can be found here or be scolling down this page.

It provides an in-depth behind-the-scenes look at possibly the world's most famous entity.

Russell Crowe Nickname Contest

Thanks to everyone who sent in their suggestions for a new nickname for Russell Crowe.

After going through all the submissions, we've decided on a winner:

Hollywood's Resident Bad Boy

Thanks again to everyone who gave a suggestion. The winner will be notified and will receive a $5 gift certificate to Barnes & Noble.

Great Holiday Ideas from the View from London

Now, when I started this blog over the summer, I knew I'd solicit a great range of emotions from the people who read it. And I was prepared for that. But there's no way I could have imagined how popular it's gotten. After all, since it's inception in July, we've had over 800 hits! No, not that's not a typo. Those are indeed two zeros, my friend.

But scanning the pages of eBay the other day, I could help but notice the amount of Jason London (my real name) items that have popped up-and just in time for the holidays I might add.

So, for all of you last-minute shoppers, here are few actual eBay items that are up for sale right now. And they're perfect for anyone in your life. Again, I just want to thank all of my fans out there for coming up with these crazy things.

You guys keep my going every day. I appreciate it. Have a great holiday.

Property of Jason London shirt

Jason London keychain

Jason London "cuckoo" shirt

Always Jason London shirt

Jason London "Silly Rabbit" shirt

Jason London "Priceless" shirt

And, my personal favorite.....Jason London license plate holder

OBEY PERKINS

OBEY PERKINS.

Chat Transcript: God

Notorious decision-maker God took a few minutes to chat with Low End Theory fans during his busy season Thursday night. God shared his thoughts on fashion, friendship and who he'd love to play one on one.

God: Hey everyone, thanks for having me here tonight. I'm sorry I can't answer every question-I literally get like a billion requests every day! This is my first time in a chat so bare with me here, everyone. Let's start the questions.

Jim, Glenns Falls, NY: Hey God, huge fan! What's up? I was just wondering what you're favorite sports teams are here in the US?

God: It's funny you say that, Jim. I don't really have too much time to follow sports since I have a pretty big workload up here. And I here that everyone who wins is always thanking me. Here's a secret-I have absolutely no input on what happens! Nothing. But, off the top of the my head, I like the Saints (NFL), Kings (NBA) and Angels (MLB) and I just feel sorry for the Royals. I don't really follow hockey too much, but you can't not be impressed with what Paul Kariya's been doing with the Preds lately. I'd love to face Kariya in a penalty shot situation.

Bryan, Scottsdale, AZ: God, U Rule Dude! What's Up!? Who do you hang around with more, Buddha or Allah?

God: That's kind of a fucked up situation, but like awesome fucked up situation. You won't understand it, but it's like we're all different people, yet we're all the same person though. That Joseph Smith's a bit of a weird dude, though. I'll be honest.

Yang, Beijing, China: 搜索　购车　十运　彩票　社

God: Hahaha. Man, that's a good one, Yang. How'd that one slip by the moderator, anyways? But to answer your question, no I've never tried it, but I heard it's definitely worth the time. But seriously everyone, let's keep it clean. You're a sick fuck, you know that?

Ana, Leeds, England: God, the popped collar-yay or nay?


God: Definitely nay. Definitely.


Sidat, India: God, what's up from India? Nothing much here. Hey, how's Jesud?

God: Hey, what's up India? Good to hear from you. I assume there's a typing error there and you mean Jesus. He's great. He's been working on his music lately in his free time. Same old shit, miracles and still doing to carpentry on the side. He's says hi. Jesus did have one question though: Who's this Craig Schilling guy that keeps telling everyone he knows Jesus? Jesus came up to me other day and was like, "Dude, who's Craig Schilling? I guess he keeps talking about me and shit. I don't even like baseball. Sounds like an alright dude, but I swear to God, I don't even remember coming to him in a vision or anything. Whatevs."

Jean Ferre, Grenoble, France: Hey God, thanks for taking care of that thing with my brother a few years ago. What's the meaning off life?

God: Whoops, sorry everyone. I lost connect for a few minutes there. I still have dial-up. Can you believe that? I'm still trying to figure out my VCR! ;) But seriously though.



God: Hey guys, I want to thank you for your time but I only have time for one question.


Indok, Antarctica: Hello God, always a pleasure. Who are your inspirations?

God: That's a great question, Pierre. By they way, Hello France! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie! Like I said, I really like Buddha, Allah, Confucius is cool. Crispus Attucks of course. Um, let's see. Van Halen-Not Van Hagar! Stevie Wonder. McEnroe/Connors in the 80s. Jim Thorpe. Nelson Mandela. Sonny Liston. Harry Potter. Susan B. Anthony. Maya Rudolph. Cindy Crawford. Harriett Tubman. Mike Gorman. Michael J. Fox-hey, is there anyone in the world who has something bad to say about Mike Fox or what? Where was I? Oh, Malcolm X. Ellen Cleghorn. Bob Kraft. Susan Sarandon. Geronimo. Little Big Horn. Sampras. Ichiro. Carrot Top. John the Baptist. Mary. Moses, David and all those Jewish dudes. Scott Stapp. Just kidding. That guy's a douche. Also, a bunch of fucking dudes who were around like thousands of years ago. So many too name! I love them all.

God: Thanks for your time guys. Be good to everyone and spread the word! Much love.

Bird Flu Virus Holds Press Conference

"Take it easy, Dude," Bird Flu says.

Bird Flu during a trip to Europe, Summer 2005 (AP Photo)

BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS - In the wake of a media firestorm from bad press, including direct attacks from the U.S. Government, the Avian virus strain known as Bird Flu held a press conference yesterday on the steps of Boston's City Hall.

The Bird Flu, represented by a local area pigeon who would only refer to himself as Wesley Snipes II, felt the need to respond after a rash of negative publicity following the untimely death of American Idol star Bo Bice, who was attacked by Snipes II this past Sunday and died only hours later.

"Take it easy, Dude," Snipes said. "I fucking killed Bo Bice. OK, I get it. Some people like Bo Bice. Take it easy. It's not a big deal."

While the Bird Flu representative refused to apologize for the death of Bice, he did shed some like on the origins of the flu.

"So I'm at this bar in Europe, OK," Snipes II said. "And I see this broad on the other side of the bar. So I slide over and spit a little bird magic, if you know what I mean. That guy over there know what I'm talking about, right buddy? Yeah, you do."

"So anyways, we get back to her house," Snipes II continued. "I start out with a little oral and next thing you know-BOOM-I'm banging her every which way but inside out. Flash forward a couple days later, I come down with a sore throat and a constant burn and a scab on my bird flute."

"I'm sure you can all put two and two together on that one. But before they symptoms came up, I kind of messed around with a couple old girlfriends, who needless to say are really friggin' pissed right now, and I also took a couple dumps on the heads of humans while I was flying over Asia."

While Snipes II expressed some sorrow over creating the imminent pandemic, he showed minimal remorse.

"Do I feel bad that I started a plague that may wipe out the human race in less than five years? Sure I do," Snipes said. "And Should I have wrapped it up before I hit it that night in Europe? Definitely. But would I tap that again if I had the chance? No doubt."

Snipes II also reiterated a request for privacy for himself and his family, and announced his resignation as vice chairman of the charity organization Birds Against Bird Flu, citing a conflict of interest.

For more information on Bird Flu and the in-depth detailed account of the Bo Bice tragedy (the only one on the NET), please click here.